The ex-girlfriend who stayed

 “Kakambal ng kasaysayan itong ating pagsinta. Ang pagsubok at panganib sa panahon na ligalig — ang siyang magpapanday sa ating panata’t pag ibig.” — Lean the Musical by Gary Granada

ON Dec. 21, 1994, under the watchful gaze of the St. Augustine of Hippo Cathedral at the Archbishop’s Palace, I made the best executive decision of my life.

I married Ailyn Fuentes Naliponguit.

Thirty-one years later, I still call her my “ex-girlfriend” — a joke that never gets old, mostly because it’s technically true. She ceased being my girlfriend the moment she became my spouse, my anchor, my north star, and my most trusted ally in a life that has been anything but quiet.

The 31st anniversary is often represented by timepieces, which is fitting. When I look back at the clock of our lives together, I don’t just see seconds and minutes; I see the seasons of a unit built on resilience.

A legacy in four parts

Our journey is best told through the lives of the four distinct individuals we brought into this world. Seeing them find their own paths is perhaps our greatest shared byline.

Lynyrd Aleksei, our eldest, has transitioned into public service at Comelec-10. He continues his journey toward becoming an officer of the court. I believe he’ll be the best lawyer money cannot buy.

He has also given us the incomparable gift of a granddaughter, Ylyse Analeigh, reminding us that the story continues into a new generation.

Leia Andion, having completed her degree in environmental science, works at the City Local Environment and Natural Resources Office (Clenro).

She is literally working to make the world — and our city — a better place.

Lyza Amparo recently finished her B.S. in autotronics. In a world that often tries to pigeonhole interests, she has mastered the complex intersection of mechanics and electronics, showing the kind of technical grit that runs in the unit.

Lenin Amidala, our youngest, is currently navigating the complexities of the human mind through a B.S. in psychology. The unit’s beauty queen and a former university best debater, she argues with me almost every day — for sport. Asa ba kaha ni miliwat?!

All four possess a wicked analytical arsenal born from the practical application of chess strategies. All four have, in their own time, dominated the National Milo Chess Olympiad.

They are also a musical force, playing everything from the guitar and keyboard to the djembé, kalimba, and violin. Chuy pud nga mga bata.

Marriage is rarely a straight line.

Ai and I have had our share of “domestic melodramas” — the standard-issue disagreements that come with sharing a life for three decades.

But we also faced challenges that were far from standard.

Being a journalist in this country often means your family is drafted into the struggle alongside you.

We have faced the weight of national attention through red-tagging — a shadow that didn’t just fall on me, but on Ai and the children as well.

In February 2019, a pamphlet circulated in the city listing Ai, my son, and me as members of the Communist Party of the Philippines.

Some parents of our daughters’ friends told their children — in front of our own — to avoid us because we were supposedly a “communist” family.

In those moments, when external pressure mounts and the stakes rise, you realize the person beside you isn’t just a spouse — she is a comrade in the resistance against ignorance and closed minds.

A partnership with the Fourth Estate

Our partnership extends into the professional realm.

At the Mindanao Gold Star Daily, we represent two sides of the same coin. As Editor-in-Chief, I handle the “black and white” of the news, while Ai, as an advertising executive, ensures the engine keeps running.

We’ve managed to balance the “Church and State” of the newspaper business while maintaining a home.

It’s a rare thing to work with your ex-girlfriend in an industry as volatile as local news and still want to go home to her at the end of the day.

To the next chapter

Bai, 31 years is a long time, but in the context of a life well-lived, it feels like we’re just getting to the good part.

Thank you for being the ex-girlfriend who stayed, the mother who nurtured, and the comrade who never flinched when things got tough and ugly.

Happy anniversary, bai!

Here’s to many more years of news, noise, structured insanity, and the beautiful melodrama of us.

“Sa hirap at ginhawa, lungkot, at ligaya. Ako’y iyong kasama hangga’t may hininga.” — Panambitan by Chickoy Pura